😄 revisiting "returning"

"A circumstance beyond our control
The phone, the TV, and the news of the world
Got in the house like a pigeon from hell
Threw sand in our eyes and descended like flies"
- Back on the Chain Gang, The Pretenders

contentment. longing. nostalgia.

those were the emotions i felt as i left my university, the place where i'd learned so much in just one year. when people ask me if i enjoy college life, i respond with a genuine smile and tell them "it's pretty fun!"

truth be told, i actually miss being there. spending time with the friends i made helped to put my soul back together, bit by bit. seeing certain buildings reminded me of the good times i had spent hanging out with people. somehow, i'd found a way to enjoy myself there.

i've shared these thoughts with a few more people now. i'm much more open and honest with my new friends. and the best part is, they understand me and don't see me as upset or unappreciative.

i didn't want to attend my university at first. it wasn't my first choice, but i can't avoid the path that's been chosen for me. i've learned more about what i can and can't control. i've learned that some dreams are fated to be crushed. i've learned that some things that end up seeming like a waste of time, hope, and effort can lead to valuable lessons and opportunities.

surprisingly enough, i came out of this year having made something out of my life. i socialized, explored, found two great communities that made me really happy.

wow. i actually did.

there were some classes that stressed me like never before, but overall i was actually quite pleased in spite of a few disappointments. there were opportunities that arose - some of them knocked me down, but some of them lifted me higher. there were strange times where life itself splintered some of my wildest dreams, but also made others come true in a weird way that only life can.

returning was a trip and a half. year two - in the bag.