10. good sales = quality?
note: this post is going to get hyper-hypocritical. i'm gonna talk about a few companies that i actually do buy from. oops. with that in mind, roll the content!
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it depends, but the answer is usually no.
how shall i go about explaining? well, when i was younger i learned a very simple format for writing an argumentative essay - three explanatory paragraphs sandwiched between an introduction and a conclusion. i still write my essays the same way (obviously my writing hasn't evolved much between elementary school and college. but now i usually have to add more ingredients to my sandwiches to meet required word counts). so whenever i take a stance on something, i try to come up with at least three reasons to explain my position.
that's being said, it seems we've gotten past the first slice of bread. let's tackle our three ingredients!!
side note: i really need to cut back on the use of extended analogies...
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1.☕ starbucks
starbucks coffee. cha-ching! no matter where you go, you can expect to see the friendly green mermaid lady smiling as you fork over money for a steaming hot cup of joe. and if you're hungry, feel free to buy a ridiculously-priced pastry or breakfast croissant! then as you walk out the door, you smile as your eyes land upon the friendly green mermaid lady smiling at you from just across the street. profit never stops, and neither does coffee!!
i actually do like starbucks, even though my cynical commentary makes it seem like that's not the case. it's a great place to study or hang out. their chocolate croissants make for a nice snack. and the coffee's actually not half bad.
the thing is, it's not exactly qualitytown usa. i can make a mocha at any hotel with the coffee dispenser and two packs of cocoa mix. and it'll easily be as good as (or better than) the ones from starbucks. what's up with that?
it's weird how starbucks has become the standard for coffee. what else is there? dunkin donuts, tim hortons, dutch bros? plus rando coffee stands that people go to because either a) coffee stands are more convenient/accessible than starbucks or b) they don't like starbucks 'cause it's too mainstream.
side note: don't be a dingus. if you dislike starbucks, dislike it for not meeting your flavor standards. don't try to be a hipster just to be cool. or if you want to avoid starbucks to support smaller coffee businesses, that's cool too. b true 2 yourself.
so yeah. starbucks is everywhere. people hold it to a high standard for some unknown reason. chill environment though.
2. 📱 apple
speaking of weird standards, what company epitomizes this better than apple? yessir, apple! innovation central. home of sleek designs and weirdly restricted software. the company that brought you the iphone, the iphone 3G, the iphone 4, the iphone 5, the iphone 6...
you might have already guessed what i'm gonna rip apple for. my complaints are few, but quite critical. so let's examine this subcategory real quick. if apple is the ham, let's look at the slices!
side note: ...sandwich analogy... i'm sorry... apples... ham... slices...
a) software. i'm not sure if "software" is the right word to use in this situation, but just bear with me. apple's really weird about how you transfer files to their devices. music has to go through itunes, documents have to go through email or other apps, and in general extracting files is a lot easier than inserting them. pretty tedious.
b) planned obsolescence. the fricking charging cords of apple devices are irritating to no end. not only do you have to buy new ones with each new product, but you also have to deal with the cords fraying and eventually becoming useless. there are a couple of apple products in my house that work really crummily or don't work at all. pretty annoying.
c) interface. macs are pretty counterintuitive if you've never used them before. there are all these weird techniques you have to learn to pull off simple commands. and iphone widgets are kinda weird. you have 'em in a drop-down list instead of just having them on-screen next to your apps. if only there were phones that did it that way... pretty odd.
so who's our savior? who has the potential to shake apple to its core? who can deal with these issues or avoid them altogether??
S 👏 A 👏 M 👏 S 👏 U 👏 N 👏 G 👏 ! 👏
actually there are a lot of competitors. i just picked samsung because i've used a few samsung devices. let's look at the flipside!!
ɐ) samsung software works basically the same as a usb drive. songs, docs, pics can easily be copied and pasted into your device. bada bing bada boom!
q) my first samsung cord lasted for at least 1.5 times as long as any apple cord i've used. also all the samsung cords i own can be used for my 2011 galaxy player, my 2014 alcatel phone, and my 2016 blu studio x5. that's a 5-year gap!! apple woulda had like 15 different cords by the fifth year... bazinga!
ɔ) ya got onscreen widgets. they're pretty nice. my galaxy player has a nice photo frame widget feature. how come i can't have that on apple?? my blu phone had a calendar widget that i could expand to fill an entire page. where's my biggo calendar, apple?? geez louise!
there are a couple of problems i've had with my samsung devices though. one big one is that many apps are apple-only. that's not really samsung's fault, it's more of a phone-ism issue. is that a thing? phone-ism? whatever. there are bigger -isms to worry about in the world. i've also had hardware/software issues with all of my samsung devices. my galaxy player now only runs for 15 minutes max with any app other than the radio. my alcatel worked great for a couple of years and suddenly burned itself out by forcibly restarting every 2 minutes. my blu phone had practically zero storage space and at one point picked up a virus that made it download random apps and software on its own.
grass, greener, other side, etc. samsung isn't exactly the paragon of perfection either.
so right now i'm using an iphone 4s. yes, i do use apple products. amazing! i also have a 4th gen ipod nano that i use for the radio, even though its battery life is terrible. compared to my blu phone, my iphone has much much more storage space and runs a heckuva lot more apps. the camera's not half bad either. so i can't complain about that. also i'm not gonna lie, i'd like to have an iphone x (or at least take it for a trial run first). it looks hecka dope.
that being said, i prefer samsung devices over apple ones. having seen both sides of the spectrum, i guess samsung just jibes with me better. but applemania has led other people to have weird obsessions with anything with "i" in front of it. don't ask me why. i don't understand consumerism...
3. 👟 nike
speaking of weird obsessions, what's up with footwear craze? when i was in 5th grade, it suddenly became cool to have pumped up kicks (even though the song hadn't come out yet). actually it was probably cool way before that. i just didn't notice until then.
i have no idea what the big deal about shoes is. i have a busted-up pair from nordstrom rack that's hecka comfy. i have a cheapo pair from costco that fit just fine. i also have (you guessed it) a pair of nikes that's probably my least cozy shoes...
there are people who have entire shelves of shoes, some of which are hardly used or for display only. isn't that wild?? like why would you buy shoes and never wear them?? they're called "footwear" because you WEAR them on your FOOTS!!
we live in a society. good Lord.
what other brands are there? converse? i had a converse t-shirt once (it was a v-neck so i gave it away). adidas? i have a pair of adidas shorts (hecka comfy). air jordans? i have a basketball...
the point is, i don't really care about the shoes i wear. if they fit and feel fine, that's fantastic. that being said, if other people wanna drop their funds on the latest and greatest footwear, i'm not gonna stop them.
anywho that's all i wanted to say about nike. i'm sure there's a ton of other stuff i could call them out on, but i'm too lazy to do any research on it. plus the topic is company sales, not company ethics. that's a whole 'nother sandwich altogether. in any case, pop culture has a funky fixation on footwear.
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so now we've had our first slice of bread (the intro), our pickles (starbucks), our ham (apple), and our cheese (nike). do people put pickles in their ham & cheeses? whatever. starbucks is pickles because they're both green, apple is ham because it was the meatiest section, and nike is cheese because... uh... cheese rhymes with "cleats". moving on!!
now we've come to the second slice of bread - the conclusion. by sandwich-ing (different from sandwiching, mind you) our way through these three companies, we've examined the possibility of a relationship between quantity of sales and quality of products. i'm led to believe that there is no correlation. sometimes companies will produce subpar flavors, problem-prone tech, or apparel that's only moderately comfy. and yet these companies sell fricktons of their respective products.
is it a cultural phenomenon? a psychological thing? a gross overanalysis by someone who doesn't hold a business degree?
i used personal experiences rather than statistics to back up my claims, so i guess this entire argument is pretty subjective. it's interesting to think about, nevertheless. i'm curious to hear the opinions others hold concerning this issue.
well, it looks like we've polished off our sandwich. hope you enjoyed your meal. sorry if the ingredient ratio was a bit unbalanced...
now, how about dessert? i'm thinking we get a couple of starbucks cake pops...
🥪
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